Answers in Unexpected Places

Apparently, those words came from the song Fix You by Coldplay. Forgive me for not knowing. I rarely listen to Coldplay. At least I got something from it. It's another way of saying, "face your damn fears". All the questions I had in mind last night were answered by a shirt I saw at H&M, Gateway Branch. Haaaa! It's probably the first in-your-face sign that I got from Him. That was literally an  in-your-face moment, and it was in a mall! Funny how He works sometimes.

That's not all!

Music provides answers too.

I've been listening to a song by Phillip Phillips. It's called Midnight Sun, from the album Behind the Light. It's one of my favorites. The lyrics speak to me, especially now. It made me remember my life as a law student, a bar reviewee and a bar examinee--how it was like and how I really enjoyed it no matter how difficult it really had been. Best of all, it reminded me why I chose to take this path. It's the "remember the why" moment again. It certainly helped a lot. Like Mulder, this brought my confidence back.

Thanks to Flipagram, here's a minute of Midnight Sun and a glimpse of my law school years, bar review months, bar examination days, and the aftermath.

View on Flipagram

Midnight Sun is also my Song of the Week because clearly it's my most played song and one which really means a lot to me right now. Thank you, Phillip Phillips and co. for writing this inspiring song! ;-)

In case you're interested...here are the relevant lyrics from the song...

There's a storm ahead
I see it all around me
I feel it in the air
Shake the ground beneath my feet
And I know it's all a part of me
Did you make a plan
Just to watch it crumble
Now you see yourself
In a mirror that you cannot clean
And it's all a part of you
Oh my friend
Look how time has changed
The cracks in our skin
Oh my friend
Let go of the fear that's inside your head
So stay strong live on
And chase the midnight sun

Full lyrics HERE. 

Clearly, I'm on my way to chase the midnight sun! ♥

Want v. Can: Life, Uncertainties and Fears

There's a big difference between "What I Want to Do" and "What I Can Do". I'm in a phase of my life where I simply am not sure of what to do. Heck, I don't even know what to do. Do I look for a "firm" job, an "office" job, or do I start the "litigation" training?

You know what I'm sure of? I am confused as hell.

It seems like the waiting stage is much more excruciating than the reviewing stage. It's so confusing that self-doubt comes into the picture. That's my worst enemy right now. Self-doubt. It is the worst!

What I want to do is to practice my profession like what I have dreamed of--litigation. Be a trial lawyer, the best trial lawyer. Then, self-doubt comes in. Fear, too. Can I do it? In all honesty, I don't know. Do I see myself as a trial lawyer? In my dreams, yes. In real life, not really. Maybe. There's always that maybe. That maybe gives me hope.

See, there's a part of me that says, "hell yes" and there's that other part of me that says, "you'll quit". To whom do I listen? The idealistic dreamer or the realist? I CHOOSE.

Ah, yes. I, the confused one, should choose. Life, huh.

Fear and reality. Maybe what I want to do is not what I can do. And, what I can do is not what I want to do. The only way to find out is when I have grabbed the opportunity do what I want to do or what I can do. Grab the opportunity that comes first and when it does not work out, take the other path. It's as simple as that. Nope, nope, nope. Then again, that's life.

Or, we can always learn to love something we thought we couldn't, right? Maybe, just maybe. Choose the easier path and make the most out of it and not be happy, or be happy. The thing is, you'll never know unless you're there--living that life.

The more important question, however, is...does opportunity come or do we look for it? Will I receive a call or an e-mail for an interview? Or, do I go out there and personally apply? Or maybe, do both? Real life demands more. So, do more. Be the person you want to be. Be you.

All I can tell myself is, welcome to the real world!

Face your damn fears.

The Year That Was 2015

2015 was undeniably a great year not only for me, but also for the family. It's a year full of fun, local travels, challenges and moments. My best nine photos on Instagram may more or less represent my 2015, but I wouldn't say it's definitely my 'best nine' moments of the year. Why quantify it when moments are about quality and not quantity, right?

@mulder8scully5's 2015bestnine

2015 marked the year when I became a Dalubhasang Hurista. After a fun, difficult yet exciting 6 years in law school, I officially earned my Juris Doctor degree. There was no room for a huge celebration because it was not yet the end game. I still needed to fulfill my dream of being a lawyer. Graduating just made me a step closer to that dream. Nonetheless, I have achieved something I never imagined I could. 

Just a few days before the graduation, reviewing for the bar had to begin. There was no other choice. The bar season had begun. The bar review was tough but fun. In fact, it was more fun than I, or we, expected. Having the right attitude is all one could ask for. As one of our reviewers said, "Steady but ready". We needed to relax and at the same time focus, and most importantly, a positive attitude. I believe we did just that. I'm not sure I would have survived the bar review if it weren't for the friends and new friends I met. If you're surrounded by positive people who have positive outlook in life, you'll be fine no matter how difficult life will be. 

Surviving the bar review was just one of the many steps to reach the dream. I needed to survive the biggest month yet--November, or as my fellow bar takers would say, NovemBAR. The 4 Sundays of November were exhausting. I have never been so tired in my entire life. Sobrang nakapapagod. I felt the exhaustion more than the difficulty of the questions asked in every bar subject. It's probably one of the weirdest reasons why I survived the bar examinations. Giving up never crossed my mind because I was extremely tired to even consider it. Or, I was just too determined to finish it. In all honesty, I was too determined to TOP the bar no matter how impossible it may seem. "Impossible is nothing", Adidas style. 

It was during the bar season that I became more prayerful than ever. I completed the 9-Thursday Novenas in St. Jude, and bonus mass and novena on the 10th day. Mama, papa and I were able to visit Manaoag twice this year. Visited churches during the holy week for my graduation and lawyer wish. We also revived our Friday habit--the novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Faith was strong in 2015 and it made us all happy. 

Family moments were also huge last year. We got to eat out more, eat at home, skate, had political discussions or simply talk about life, TV shows, or work. We were able able to travel as a family, although not entirely complete because I have 2 siblings currently working outside the country. They get to visit us in accordance with their individual schedules. So, it's rare that we get to spend time as a complete family. If we do, we make sure that it would be worth it and it was. My first trip to Ilocos during the holy week was one of those rare moments that we, as a family, including our immediate relatives, got together. 

The Ilocos Region is one of the best places I have been in my entire life. It had the municipality-city-province balance. Ilocos Norte, in particular, has a great balance of heritage, history, and development. I vowed to come back and come back I did. I visited Ilocos twice this year and it was all worth it. All I can say is, Ilocos is a beautiful place and it tells us why it is, indeed, more fun in the Philippines. Tourism is quite huge in the North this year.

As far as fandoms are concerned, it's been a great your for me, the fangirl. The huge X-Files Revival news is everything. It's the best fandom news ever. Mulder and Scully will be back and I am more excited than I ever was. We, the X-Philes, will get to experience The X-Files in a new light with social media discussions and all that. That's something to watch out for this 2016.

Another memorable moment for a fangirl like me is the International Premier Tennis League. It was the first tennis event I got to see live and this featured my favorite tennis player of this generation and my second favorite tennis player of all time (next to Pete Sampras, of course), RAFAEL NADAL. Seeing him play live is the best experience is any sports event ever. It was simply amazing--a dream come true. Rafa was intense. He really played at his best during the Manila leg. He had great moments and great winners. Most importantly, I got to scream, "VAMOS RAFA!!!" and it matters a lot for a fan like me. 

Onto another highlight of the year. Mama, papa and I got to do something we have never done before. That is, to attend a political rally--a declaration for Vice Presidential bid by Senator Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos. I was also able to attend Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago's Meet and Greet a.k.a her declaration of candidacy as President of the Philippines. These political rallies were moments to remember. If you are a political science major like me, these events are major especially when you support these candidates.

Witnessing Senator Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos' declaration of his candidacy for Vice President was truly an honor. It was definitely my political highlight of the year. People in different sectors came together to show their support and we were really glad to have had shown ours. His speech was forceful but dignified. You could feel his passion in public service. He inspires people. He meant every word he said. That, for me, is very important. He is the leader I want and I will show support whenever I can. Plus the fact the I got to "meet" him during the bar review at a school event, finally. He signed my Macoy shirt and it was awesome. It was certainly an unforgettable moment for me.

So much for fandom. It's time for FAMILY. The holiday season is definitely about God and family. I completed simbang gabi for the nth time. It's a "thank you" to God for everything that He has blessed us with. We visited Baguio City right after Christmas. It was the family's last travel vacation of the year. We rarely do travel vacations. Fortunately, we got to do it this time. Lots of food moments. Food was definitely the highlight of that trip! Oh, and BenCab museum. Artworks, views and family pictures sums it up. Great holidays are spent with family. Cheers!

I have pretty much covered my favorite 2015 moments. It's been a year of dreams, career paths, achievements, travels, friendships, positive attitude, faith, and family. I want to thank the good Lord for all these blessings. Sure, there were challenges and I don't often highlight it although there may be a need to, but this is not about challenges, it's about overcoming these challenges and living a positive life. So, here's to 2015: THANK YOU! 

Hello, 2016!!! ♥

Yay!

YAY!

I guess that sums up this entry.

Well, this awesome gift came when I needed it the most--hope, inspiration, and a bit of happiness. Thank you, @hellokris for this wonderful gift! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Gillian Anderson, The X-Files and inspiring words to live by.

"Whatever your truth is, stay true to yourself. But be a good person while you're at it." -Gillian Anderson

The beginning of the end of the beginning has begun. Here's to the new semester!

Focus. Fight. Finish.

REPEAT 5X.

The best song to let it all out.

Best of you.

REPEAT 5X. Or, more. More. Mooaaar.

A Possibility.

I never thought it could happen, but it did. This is an academic blessing. Thank you, Lord! Thank you, family (esp. my mama). Thank you, friends. The previous sem was my best sem, obviously. 

This is the first time and I know that it could be the last. Fourth year is just full of impossibilities. Sure, we cannot deny the possibilities, but this sem, so far, has been very challenging. I won't even dream of being part of the honor roll again haha. I just want to finish law school by the end of the year (October 2014). Hopefully, I could. 

If not, I still have the March 2015 option. There's always a backup plan. We're getting there.

In law school, I've learned that the beginning and the end have always been the toughest. I survived the beginning. It's time to face the end.

Posted via Blogaway

The Buzzing Bees!

They just keep on buzzing.

+ Just because you don't like his answer does not mean he's lying. Right, Mr. Senator? 

+ True, we kind of need a strong leader. That is, a strong and SANE leader. Enough with the bickering, Ms. Secretary and Mr. Mayor.

+ Oh please...with the 'this isn't news', 'nasan na ang PDAF, DAP?', 'mas mahalaga ba talaga ito kesa sa mga isyu ng bansa?'. Tama na ang pagpapanggap. Do you even care? Really? Sorry ha. Just because you don't like the news does not mean it isn't news. We just need to learn how to look beyond the people in the news, maybe we'll find the real issue(s). Diba?  Philippine Criminal Justice System is under scrutiny yet again.

+ I ship MayWard so hard! The haters can just BITE ME. lol.

+ This song is soooo good! It's a masterpiece. I love you, DMB! Dave Matthews is so gwapo (handsome) here! ♥

How I wish they'd bring the DMB2sets Show here in the Philippines. Dave Matthews Band Live In Manila. Someday, someday.

+ Midterm exam week next week. It will be like hell. And, it starts tomorrow--the studying, that is. I mean, today. When I wake up, all I could do is study, study, study, and pray. It will be the first longest week of the year. What to study? What to study? lol. Good luck. God Bless.

The buzzing has stopped.

Merry Christmas!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Our little Christmas tree

Christmas day may have passed but the season is far from over. Ha! To the readers of this blog, Merry Christmas! Hope you all had a blessed and joyous Christmas. I thank the Lord for all our blessings. We owe You everything we have. And of course, Happy Birthday, Jesus! He is the reason for all this. :) Thank you.

It is quite ironic that I currently have one entry for my favorite time of the year. Let's just say I'm like Santa. I'm very busy--busy catching up with my favorite shows, my friends, and my amazing family. And yes, there's the Christmas shopping. We're quite the 'last minute' type of people. That explains the lack of entries re: the Christmas season. Clearly, this will not be the lone entry for Christmas, there will be more, soon. I'm still gearing up for the 'finale'. The blog entry should have been posted a few months ago but I just want it to be perfect. Well, it still won't be perfect. It could be nice, not perfect. Heh. It is a must that I post that write-up before the year ends. 

No. It is not a year-end post. That's too cliche. Nor will it be a 'New Year' post. That's too 'New Year'. Hahaha. It definitely is something special! Poured my heart and soul 'writing' it. I still am finishing it. Will leave it at that.

Again, Merry Christmas! :)

 

It's NOT all of it.

This could be the lone entry for July. It's that kind of month--a lot to share, so little 'free' time to blog. Might as well consolidate them all in one blog and 'work' on the 'special' ones in the near future.

More than a month.

I don't normally talk about law school during my spare time. I only supply hints. Sometimes you just need to be as abstract as possible. It helps.

So, it's been more than a month since the first semester of the school year began. It has been good, so far. Friends have always been awesome. Family keeps me going. And, the Lord has always been there. We're warming up a bit--in class recitiations and quizzes. They (the subjects and the professors) have been very challenging, particularly the review classes haha. I am up to it. I should. That's the kind of mindset one should have. After all, it's the path I chose.

To be honest, I need more focus. It's one of the reasons why the mind has been tired lately and a reason why there's a need to make this entry. Let everything out. The fandoms have taken over my life mind. Haha.

SDCC: XF20

July would not be complete without the San Diego Comic Con. The X-Files is the main reason of my SDCC interest. It is also one of the reasons why I have not blogged this month. Haha. Too busy with The X-Files, Gillian Anderson, David Duchonvy, etc. etc. They have the mother of all panels. That is, with the X-Files writers, producers and the incomaparable leads, Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny. They made SDCC even better. The have what others did not. They have Mulder & Scully. This also marked the X-Files' 20th Anniversary panel. It's simply historical!

As an X-Phile, there is no way I'd miss the moment even if it's only through Twitter, Facebook, YouTube or the tons of fansites out there. This is The X-Files--my childhood, my teenage years, a huge part of my life. It's my happy 'place'.  

I just wish I could make a decent post on this.

X-Files Comics

Yee-haw! I bought 3 X-Files comics this month. The first was the 2nd issue of IDW's The X-Files Season 10. The second was the Wildstorm/Frank Spotnitz one. The last was The X-Files Classics, Volume 1. The latter ones were kind of expensive. Haha. I just couldn't resist. Believe me, I tried so hard but there's that legitimate excuse: It's the 20th Anniversary!

My review/mini review of these comics will be out soon (like it's something my 'readers' would be looking forward to reading haha). Let's just say, I enjoyed reading the comics. I have yet to read the 'Classics' though. I will, soon.

Food Trips!

My lawschool friends and I have expanded our 'jurisdiction' when it comes to food. Heh. We're no longer limited to those along Recto. We have reached Sta. Mesa (Pan De Cielo) aaaand back to Taft! Well, near Taft Ave. (Burger Project) Oh, how I miss seeing you, DLSU. Haha. 

Pan De Cielo

Authentic Pinoy! Glad I was I able to try this one.

  

Burger Project

We've heard a lot about it. Medyo mahal. It's quite expensive but worth the money. :) Named my burger, 'YOU REBEL!' It was a fun Friday with friends, burgers, fries and a lot more!

This is definitely not ALL of it. I'm just happy to have shared some of the little things I wanted to share with the world. Hahahaha!

I'm outta here!

For the nostalgia!

YouTube brings back memories. There are times when you just miss the good old days.

Butterfly.

I have been watching this live performance of Butterfly since last night. I was once not a fan of this song but live performances often change everything. I guess you can truly appreciate the beauty of the song when you see and hear it live. Well, there are certain times when it does. Heh. It was this moment.

Mariah Carey's live performance of this song on The Late Show with David Letterman has always been one of my favorites (to be honest, most of her Letterman performances are in my book of favorites). Some might not appreciate the breathy technique but it suits the song so well. She just gives you the 'feels'. This was raw, intense and emotional. The vulnerability -- exceptional. I love the way she sang the verses, 'flourish' and 'courage'. You could just feel the emotion in the song. I can go 'Keith Urban' here and just be so passionate in expressing what I think and feel but I just can't. HA!

Let's just say that I have come to realize how great this song is and how it has become one of my favorite songs ever. Yes, not just by Mariah Carey, but includes all songs by my favorite artists.

Butterfly is definitely one of the best songs ever written.

Simple life.

I don't know why, but that Butterfly performance reminded me of the good old days--when life was simpler.

There's nothing wrong with  change. I have always been open to change. I love change. Innovations are good. Advancement in technology is a sign of progress. However, as society changed, people did--some, radically. We have become too dependent on technology. We have become lazy. We have too many 'reality' shows. We complain a lot and yet, we do nothing. We merely complain. We complicate things. WE. COMPLICATE. THINGS. *guilty*

Back then, we just simply lived our lives. We talked to real people. WE. TALKED. We read books, played in the streets (the safe side, of course) and watched MTV or Channel V--the real music channels that had music videos and not reality shows.

Life was simple.

It felt like it was. That's probably because I was young-er ha.

Ohh...there's that song by John Legend, It Don't Have To Change. Imagine that! I managed to squeeze in another song. Heh.

Here it is!

Do you rememberrrrr?

Looking back.

This is not as deep as it would appear to be. It is simply a late post. 

The Midterm Bonanza!

Up To The Mountain is one of the best songs ever. I particularly love Crystal Bowersox's version of the song. She means what she sing. Crystal gives me the 'feels' of this song. Up To The Mountain definitely helped me a lot during the midterm exams. It was actually the only song for the midterm exam week. It definitely was. The song helped me get through all the stress, the negativities and the usual self-doubt. I did not necessarily pass every subject in the world, but it was certainly uplifiting--inspiring, to say the least.

Listen. Feel it. Be inspired.

Up To The Mountain is a song written and originally performed by the amazing Patty Griffin for the great Martin Luther King, Jr.

Truly inspiring.

End of a blogging era!

Posterous and Tabulas are about to shut down.

Tabulas has always been my personal blog. Now, it will all come to an end. I just wish the site administrators find a way to retrieve past posts and give us bloggers the 'backup' plan right away. Well yeah, my posts back then were 'meh' or even $ucked but still those posts were raw. It represented who I was and how I came to be as a person. Ha. It would be nice to look back at those posts and see how I express myself no matter how bad they were written. (Haha!) 

Posterous was quite the 'recent' discovery. I was looking for the best way to blog and I thought that the features Posterous offered were very compelling. Well, it was--kind of. The best: Autoposting. For me, it was the best feature. The photo uploads and the photo gallery feature were really good too. I should have retrieved some of the posts that have not been autoposted here soon enough.

For now, let's just say farewell to Posterous and the amazing Tabulas. They have 'multiplied'. Thank you!

The Reader.

Finally, I vow challenge myself to read 'books'.

I am definitely not a 'book' person. I read novels or short stories only when I am required to. I, however, seldom finish novels for book reports and all that. After all, there's the summary. Plus, I have research skills. Ha.

The books that I have read on their entirety are The X-Files episode guides, The X-Files related books, Chords of Strength, and Smaller and Smaller Circles.

The PanDigital Novel, however, changes everything. My aunt gave me that tablet as a gift for my birthday. Well, yeah. It was not the 'tablet' I envisioned to have, but I am very happy to have one. Ha. Now, I am telling myself to read some novels, short stories or other literary works--fiction or nonfiction, for a change. Set the law books aside sometimes ha.

I will probably start with Art Of War. Downloaded free e-books, including comins, from iTunes too. Heh. Some challenge, eh?